7/22--Has it Really Been a Month?

Has it really been a month since I last posted? Hard to believe. Time flies when you are trying to have a life. And yes my children... enjoy your youth... keep the parts that make your heart light and happy ... let the ones that dragged you down go away. I have so much to say and I will categorize it so if you only looking for Lymes info you can find it quickly and miss all the family things ;-).



Lymes Disease Updates



I will save all you nice Lymes folks and force the family to suffer through the Lymes ;-). I had backed down on my medication for a while as I had a lot of obligations that I couldn't allow myself to spend too much time sleeping. That is a huge side effect for me is the tiredness and my tummy problems. Actually the only time I don't have a sleep disorder is when I am killing the Lymes. Although it has been much improved with my thyroid medicine.



The night chills specifically are another effect for me. but of course for me....chilled is a lifestyle ;-). I am the only person in the world who on 100 degree days is wearing pants. But the specific night chills that cause me to wear 5 layers of clothing and then waking up gasping for water?... those are so much less. The night chills are at night I get teeth chattering cold. Not just my normal daytime cold. I never knew that there was such a thing I just knew it happened to me.

People wonder why I don't give a damn what anyone thinks about me. I wouldn't have gotten through life if I did. I do however give a damn about how I am treated by others and how I treat others. I guess I always cared more about my own comfort then other people ;-). Because I hate being cold!!!


The sun sensitivity is in great part due to my coloring.... the serious light sensitivity, is another one that has come and gone through the years. It came with the migraines. When I think back my migraines st oped in my mid 20's or so. I did however start getting them back for a period in my late 30's but that was due to TMJ. My bite alignment was fixed and they stopped.

I started having them again when I first started the protocol they where horrible. Now I keep my sunglasses on all the time and they are fine. Without my sunglasses I would be on meds all the time. About the light sensitivity is that I have always had it to fluorescent lights. And when I was out in a cube I always wore my sun glasses. Now on the protocol I find myself back to any florescent light will give me a migraine.

In fact in the beginning we started me out to high because I had horrible side effects but I wanted it to go quickly. Patience's is one of the lessons I am here to learn. So we backed me down and worked our way up.

I am ready to bump up to the 100 mg's and will discuss with my next appointment. I have to say that I don't think I could have done what I did this past 7 months between work, home and moving mom back if I hadn't have been killing the Lymes. I haven't had a "sinus infection" since I started the protocol. However, when I work the protocol. Which means I schedule my bad days for my life not schedule my life for the protocol.

I know for 24 to 48 hours when I take my antibiotic I am going to feel like crap. Which means I need to sleep all the time, it means I really cannot eat although it is not so much that way anymore. But in the beginning it tore my stomach up. Now I have had the heliobacter (sorry Tak you will have to fix my spelling) that causes ulcers in my stomach previously. I believe that the reason I had such a hard time in the beginning is that it was really dying quickly and a lot. I have always had stomach problems off and on all my life.

This was how I found about bromine in the bread that poisons us and our stomachs. Of course I have believed for years that we have been poisoning ourselves as a country. Although eating organic and non processed is not realistic for a great deal of the population unless you have Trader Joes!!! But like everything in life if you make the best choices when you can and go crazy every now and then. We should be ok. Sorry I digress.

Sometimes I have joint pain and on the higher dosage I did have a lot. Not so much anymore. I do get cold from the Benicar and it does work as a blood pressure lowering medication because that is something I know. I will confirm it sometime at my doctors office but I know how I feel when I take it. The ringing in my ears is again now only when I come off the antibiotic feeling crappy and start to feel better. Or vise versa...I am still tracking this because it is so infrequent now!! The dizziness has always been sporadic enough that I cannot track if it is blood pressure, lymes... I usually know when it is dehydration and it hasn't been that lately.

2 of my lymes side effects of hair falling out and be hungry all the time are now gone too!! My hair still falls out a bit but not like it did before!! YAY!!! To bad it won't make it curly too ;-).

Well I am going to move on to my personal life. you are welcome to read but it might bore you to sleep...well if you are one of us sleep disordered people... then you might appreciate that ;-). I would like to reiterate that this is my experience. Cole asked me this weekend how did we know his Lymes was cured. So we went through some things and I told him I thought he was normal tired not Lymes tired. I explained to him that his parents caught it quickly so that is how it can be cured. If caught quickly.

But Lymes is the great imitator so people don't often test for it. There are a number of test that can be done. They are to check the CDIFF, VITAMIN D LEVELS, and Western Blot (there is only one lab in California to use for this. I don't have the name but when you read about the test on the internet you will find the name). Robbie told him that if he ever felt like he didn't feel well and wanted to be tested all he had to do was tell them and they would take him.

Life

Mom is doing GREAT!!!! She is so happy it is almost sickening. Once she gets her furniture there may be no living with her ;-). And we are all SOOOOOO HAPPY SHE IS HAPPY!!!! She is very cute with her friends and herself. She is very sweet and we had a very nice day on Saturday. We ate and shopped and shopped and ate ;-). She got a cart that I will put together this week so she can use it along the streets on her walks to shop and stuff. She got silverware holders finally and she got a laundry hamper. I got lots of new tops and she got 3 pairs of pants. I am getting skinny!!! Thank you Dr. Fishman...no not diet pills. It's the killing the lymes.

Let's see.... on the house not much to report. The took out 3 more trees to put more horrible plantings at 1500 a pop but no retaining wall. That leveled me yesterday. Now the errosion will excelerate at such a rate. I am f'd so hard it isn't funny. Oh well. The basement isn't a bad place but I am going to get a bed for down here. Maybe I can find another twin bed for cheap and move it down here. It is warm in winter and cool in summer ;-). On to a subject that doesn't wreck me... My boys.

In order by age. Jimmy and Stever will be out here very soonly YAY!!! They arrive on 8/8 (Happpy Birthday Linda Croke). Maxie just got back from Outward Bound rock climbing camp and said it was epic!! Will get more details from him tonight. He will be forced to tell it 2 nights in a row ;-). And Cole and I had a wonderful day yesterday!! We had brunch with Robbie, Mom, Di (family friend from Arizona) at my favorite place!! We went to the movies, he hung out with mom while I came home and walked the Daisy, and then we went to dinner. When we got home we made red velvet cupcakes and he did most of the work! We watched the Simpson's whose Movie comes out this week!! YAY!!! Midnight Movie at the RIO!! I didn't mean to leave Wes and Sean out. They are having a nice summer and Wes is getting ready for collage.

Speaking of the Simpson's. Cole and his friend Collin went with me to see the Kwik-E-Mart from the movie. They took 11 7-11's and turned them into Kwik-E-Mart. They were very cool and the facade's were changed. All the displays were changed, etc. It was great and I am glad we went in spite of my beltway phobia and coming back through RFK ;-).

Well that is all for now.

Take Care... Be Safe.. LU2PMBU

Life Update---6/27/07

First it is time for Birthday Updates!! Happy Birthday Linda Lee!! She was 44 on 6/24. YAY!!! And please say your prayers that she and Shelia B get the house they want so we can all live near each other again ;-)!! We had a wonderful celebration on Sunday morning with Coffee, Birthday Muffin, and then breakfast at Woodside Deli and Ali and Sunny joined us too!! Linda looked smoking hot. She has been square dancing and you can really tell in her new outfits!! She is going to "the Cape" for 4th of July and we wish her a wonderful time!! Tell the boy's Hi from me and I cannot wait to meet them sometime.

Mom is doing well. I haven't seen her much. I was given the weekend off for good behavior and work has kicked my butt since Sunday morning so I have not done much else. She seems happy and that is a good thing. I will see her this evening (I hope) and I will also spend time with her this weekend. Robbie spent most of the weekend with her and they pretty much finished the big shopping. We need to check on when her other furniture is going to be arriving, since we are at July already. Were did the time go?

Work has been kicking my butt. I have had a phone glued to my ear f0r 41 out of 48 hours. And I cannot tell you what happened from Sunday 7:00 pm to Tuesday night because I was working most of the time. It's been a long year... and a really long two weeks. Hopefully it will settle down.

I do get to work with some of the coolest people. Mike is one of them. This man has a way with computers that is magic. It is not just a platform, or a kind of hardware, or a kind of software... it seems like there isn't anything he cannot do. He works hard for his money that is for damn sure. The thought of if he were to ever leave makes me shudder. His is a mind that puts mine to shame. Plus he is wickedly funny ;-). I hope he is sleeping tonight. He is one of those of us who are sleep challenged. He makes my job easier and I thank him for all he does to help me keep my sanity while working in the most insane place and pace I have ever worked.

Speaking of work I include a link on here on the merger of the NASD and the NYSE Regulation . Suffice it to say this has us all hopping ;-). In addition to everything else we have going on. Funny that me of all people ended up to have a good job with a long tenure. That I would be so responsible, that people would look to me for guidance, support, and solutions in crisis situations.....still amazes me.

I still feel like a 20 something kid trying to figure out how to keep my laundry done, keep myself feed, and still get time to go play. To all my young finds. Enjoy your youth and freedom. One thing I don't feel like I missed out on anything, if I wanted to do something I did it. As long as I felt it was a safe thing to do in a given situation. I always trust my gut and that has kept me out of trouble even in a close call or two. Now I digress. The link on the merger is at the end.

Please say your prayers for Mychelle's brother Bill. He had back surgery yesterday and he had a rough night. He is in ICU but seems to be stabilized but he did crash last night. Say your prayers for Robbie and her foot injury. Sounds like it is not as bad as she thought which is a good thing. Please say your prayers for Mychelle and Shelia. They both have had to make some difficult choices this week and I am proud of them for their choices. So they could use your prayers for them to help them through this time of transition.

Maxie is back from work camp. He was forced to spend time with the most fundamentalist Christians. He is just like the rest of us in our family a die hard liberal so you can imagine how well this went over. SO this wasn't the most fun trip he has ever been on. I give him kudo's for going. I actually wished we had the public service requirement that is now part of the requirements. Coley seems to be doing well monster that he is ;-). I am so blessed to have these boys, all my boys and girls in my life. I love my kids with all my heart.

Katie is going to Italy soon. I am going to be forced to call Jean and Berl to get he info I need to send her some money for her trip. I hope she has a wonderful time!! I cannot believe her trip to Italy is here already! HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME MISS KATIE DID ;-)!!! LU2PMBU!!!

And I send a big shout out to my Colorado contingent!! I hope you all are doing well and sorry I couldn't talk the other day. I hope you all are enjoying your summer!!

Well I have a dog that needs walking and cats that need feeding and new tunes to dance around the neighborhood too ;-). I wish you and all you love all the best life has to offer. My you all be blessed with love, joy, peace, good health, prosperity, and much laughter.

Take Care... Be Safe... Lu2PMBU
http://www.nasd.com/PressRoom/SpeechesTestimony/MaryL.Schapiro/NASDW_019306

Congrats to Cole!--6/17/07

Well Cole qualified for the Junior Olympics in kayaking today!! YAY!!! I am so proud even though I missed it. I got lost and missed it but he qualified to go to Golden Colorado for them. I am SOOO PROUD!!!!! Going forward I will go to Robbie's first and follow them. I did however make it for the medals and was the only one who heard Coles name called that he got one.

I think next year we are going to the Junior Olympics. I am planning my vacation for it now. With Mom here going out to Colorado is not a have to anymore and so there is at least 1 week of vacation a year I get back. I will go out next year for Jimmy's graduation but after that may not be back until I see Sean's. Anyhoo. I am very excited for him...he was tired as he did 2 runs. I am glad Sarah and Maggie where there to see him. They are Derick's sisters. His cousins Caroline and Harry came too. Amazing how much they have grown in the last while.

Well all of mom's boxes are unpacked!!! She has pots and pans she can use. She has a microwave/convection oven, food (YAY Trader Joes). She has a broom and dustpan. She has a printer and bedroom TV. Laundry Soap she can use to do her own laundry. A tray she can carry that is light with high sides. She has walked her butt off shopping and is ready to start shopping on-line ;-). We had a nice weekend but I am requesting the next weekend off.

Well I need to get some sleep. I hope all who read this have sweet dreams and lots of blessings and love. For all who cannot read it...LU2PMBU!!

Take Care....Be Safe...I LOVE MY FAMILY AND AM PROUD OF ALL OF YOU!!!

Happy Sweet 16 Birthday Maxie!!! 6/17/07

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAXIE!!!! Maxie is 16 today and I didn't even get to talk to him and I didn't get this posted before he left so he will have to wait until he returns to read it ;-). 16 years ago you where born...I worked for NASA and was in a training class on how to put in memory, cpu's, hard drives and the sort. You looked like ET and we couldn't have loved you anymore. We couldn't have thought you more beautiful for an ET looking baby ;-). But all white babies look like ET to me ;-).

Grandma was here from Denver for it your birth. We all were so thrilled and still are to have you in our lives. Your inquisitiveness has been a part of you since you where born. I think you get that from your Dad. Your ability to get excited by a paper clip from Grandma actually. Of course your mom and I both share that feature too. Inabilty to sleep is from where we know not but you share it with Uncle Steve and myself too. You seriously dry sense of humor you share with Uncle Steve. ZooWah .

Your deep kindness that you can exhibit on many occasions...that I think you get from all of us I remember watching you one time with Grandma Moore when you picked a crab for her because she was having a hard time. Or the way you liked to feed the homeless as a young boy. I respect you as a person not just as my nephew. I respect the organic co-op...kombucha boy whom I adore more then life it's self. The joy you bring into my life and heart you will never truly know...if you could then you would never be sad.

I want for you only what is best in life. Your journey is your own to choose, but do your best to choose wisely. You will fall occasionally and when you do I will always be here for you. Always here to help pick you back up and dust yourself off. Growing up Grandma always said your mom was my biggest supporter in the word and I always remembered and believe that too.

I am your biggest supporter in the world and when I ask or tell you something it is only to save you some pain. So even when I am a nudge... remember it is a nudge with love. As you stand on the crosswalk to adulthood ... remember we all make stupid choices. But don't let those define you. Roll with the punches and learn from your mistakes.

And if you are 45 and I am calling you Maxie...remember that I say that name with all the love in this world. I LU2PMDNBU!!! HAPPY 16 BIRTHDAY MAXIE!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!!! dbmhjkloutwvbdbmp

Take Care...Be Safe...LU2PMDNBU HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

This Week In Review--6/15/07

Well it has been a week. Tonight we had Maxie's 16th b'day party. He didn't want anything specific so we had a family/friends party and it was very nice. I made more red velvet cup cakes then I dare to think about...and he was thrilled. I love him with all my heart and that is all I will say. Since he has gotten everything early...his birthday blog will be on his birthday. I will add one thing about that nice family of mine....Cole has a junior Olympic kayaking tryout on Sunday and I will be going to that for certain.

I am so greatful for my family. Last night was fun. I picked up Mom and Ali who is just a hoot and so adorable that I am going to be crashing their partys all the time ;-). They are so cute and I think they had a blast. I believe that Ali and Mom are destined to get into too much trouble together and I hope they let me play too sometimes ;-). I no longer worry about mom and that is the biggest relief of all. Not like I worried all the time but I did and I don't.

Let's see what else...I have made no decisions on what I want to do with the house. I will probably end up keeping it no matter what even if I rent it out I do hope that Linda moves to the house of her choice in the area. Please pray for Shelia that her kidney stones and wheeze clear up completely. Please pray for my friend Gary's mother that she is completely cured of her cancer. Please pray for some friends of mine who's job have been eliminated that they get whatever it is they want and need.

We had a major outage this week at work. Funny after 3 years how hardware begins to fail. EOL on 24/7 systems is about 3 years. I am very lucky to have found this job. As much as I hate the politics and the hours. I have to admit to being an adrenaline junky and this job has certainly feeds that addiction. I love my work, the people I get to work with and all the fun things I get to do. Yes I think taking a huge system from one thing to another while continuing to improve it is a way fun/cool thing to do. Of course if we where given the appropriate amount of time to do the work it would be helpful instead of doing everything in a hurry.

I have worked 8 years on the same application working for the same manager, Vern Miller. Who I would walk a 100 miles in the sand to help in the worst storm. When I started with Vern his son was in high school and Vern was a devoted soccer dad. Not the kind that pushes there kid but the kind that loves them, like Stever, Derick, and Berl. When I think of good Dads these are the men I think of :-).

Anyway suffice it to say the day Vern retires I will be sob and I will make him cry too. Besides being a very smart man with a good technical background and business understanding....he is a good manager and he is a good person. He always says manager no value added...but that is so untrue. A good manager can make or break a team. I have seen one manager decimate a team to the point that people would start and quit in the same week. The same team given a good manager turned the team around and found performance improvements of cutting the time in 1/2.

Vern adds a lot of value. Hell he has kept me employed for the last 8 years. I would place my money on Vern any day...he is the classic nudge ;-) but a good guy while he is nudging ;-). Thank you Vern for all your support over the last 10 years (I worked with Vern for 2 years previous on Y2k).

I am not sure how this got to be a Vern Miller tribute? It really should be a tribute to someone else who has saved my system over and over and is did it again this week, but I will save that one for some other time. I am sure I will have plenty of time later this weekend to write when my Antibiotic kicks in again. I am trying to get back on track with that since I have gotten off track for a while because of work and moving mom. But I am going to work hard to get back on track with it. I would like to move up to 100 sometime soon.

Well I have a dog that needs walking and I think I will eat while I still can since my tummy won't like food soonly. But the side effect of that has been a good one too but also I am not hungry all the time which I was before so it is all good. I hope you who read this have a blessed day. And if you are going to Italy and you know who you are send me the info to send you a pressie for you to spend while you are there.

Take care...Be Safe....LU2PMBU

I wonder where you are tonight

I wonder where you are tonight
are you out looking at the stars
or is your night starless like mine

I wonder where you are tonight
are you remembering the sound of my voice
like I am remembering yours
your voice...it makes me ... a lot of things
and it makes me miss you most of all
I would not trade hearing your laugh
even if it eventually makes me a bit sad
sad because I know it will be to long
before I get to here it again

I wonder where you are tonight
are doing something to make yourself smile
or do you have so many windows open they have become like tiles

I wonder where you are tonight
no matter where you are
I wish for you all that you want tonight
I wish you all that you want...everyday
I know where you are tonight
you are in my heart

Where does the time go?--6/11/07

It has been 10 years since I have started at NASD. 10 Years ago on Cole's birthday 6/9/07. That is a momentous occasion from the girl that was a permanent temp. I remember when I took vacations at the A Step Beyond Hair Designs in Ballston because I didn't have an assignment and didn't want to be at home. My hair changed alot back then too. Back then I had shaved sides and a shaved back. Voss has some pictures. And now 20 years later I own my own home....back then I had just gotten my license. And the firebalm car from hell was a really big deal. Mychelle was with Actyva and all the kids where babies. Those who had been born ;-). My where did the time go... Somewhere I grew up when I wasn't looking...somewhere you did too ;-).

I came across something in unpacking mom that was a letter to someone. The letter was not of importance it was the style with which it was written. Our writing styles are similar and as I spend more time with her I realize we are more alike....UGGGG ;-0. And I am just kidding about the UGG. With everything in life I try to take what works for me and leave the rest. And I do that with my mother. I take the attributes I love and keep them and the rest I do just the opposite of what she wants. It drives her crazy ;-). And yes I do it on purpose. But she also loves me and loves to spend time with me. Of that I have no doubt.

Speaking of Mommy...she is doing great. I had her out till 10:30 last night and didn't leave her till 11:00. So she is a bit tired today and she deserves to be. I don't get home until late so she is hostage to my schedule but not to her house any longer ;-). She is very happy to be out and about and she is getting stronger. She pushed the cart all through target last night. But she now has a plunger, water filter (yes I picked up some diet coke for her ;-) TP, PT, and some oatmeal but not the right kind. She also has a clock radio that she loves. She is a happy girl. Tonight she is going to a watermelon festival and I hope she has a grand time ;-). Yesterday she had a hair appointment. We both agree to try the salon across from her home. It is beginning to feel like home for her and it was nice last night with her. She said she has been out more in the last 2 weeks then she has in 2 years. I asked if that was a good thing and she said yes, YAY!

Mom was sooo cute last night...it was an unusually cool evening so I could bring Daisy with me. She is in love with Daisy as we all are. And well Daisy....she hates be petted by grandma, or any other human for that matter ;-). She just sits there and leans into you. She and mom are contemporaries ;-). Daisy is 70 ;-). I am happy they both are doing so well.

Let's see what else. Maxie is getting ready to turn 16 but since he isn't going to be here we are celebrating his b'day on Friday. Although he got his present from me but he hasn't gotten cake. So Red Velvet cake and homemade ice cream here we come. I will work on that the next few days. Since tomorrow is my work from home day and since everyone will be very happy with Red Velvet cake and homemade ice cream. Besides I have good ingredients about to go bad.

I don't know what lies ahead in my life. I have decided to go ahead and get the house fixed. I need to call Paul to come up and get started. Well let's see what else is going on. Well not much since my last update. Except to say that I think while the last year has been hell for all of us. It was a blessing as well. We all survived. Mom is here and in a safe, good, place. She looks good and she is seeming stronger. She has lost a few pounds but that could be that we have let her have no food in her house ;-). Ok no sugar. I have been researching the machine to get her for microwave, convection oven, etc. So that will help her eating when we get that which I am thinking is Saturday with, direct buy, and credit union.

I have some friends that are older then I am, some that are younger, and some the same age. Writing that makes me happy ;-). Anyway. The ones that are older I used to watch in my early 30's and I so know how they felt back then. It's amazing what a difference time makes for everything. Years ago our kids where babies....my baby right now (Sunny Bunny) is now a toddler, and my kids are 20's and teens.... my babies are late teens and tweens....and me....just older. But I only feel 17. Back then I was still wanting to be home and still wanting to have fun out and about. That is how I feel now. I want to do both ;-)

Well I am not proofing this one either. I have a dog that needs walking and a cat that needs petting so I am going to stop now. I will keep you all updated as I can.

Take Care...Be Safe....LU2PMBU

It's Looks Like An Apartment!!--6/10

Well Mom's house place is now beginning to look like a home. Robbie, Derick and I kicked some butt today and her living room, bedroom and kitchen are box free. She has a fabulous bed to sleep in and a nice dresser to put her clothes. Her living room looks great with the bookshelves filled nicely with memento's and pictures. Which all came throw flawless thanks to the expert packing skills of Mychelle.

Her office still has a lot of boxes but at least she has a computer, a much better desk setup now then last week, and cords are safely tucked out of reach ;-). I will put up pictures of her place on the web this week for those who are interested. Just didn't get it done today. Somehow I didn't realize how much work we would have on this end. But she is beginning to feel settled. She has PT at 8:30 am tomorrow which I think is too early but I think anything before noon is too early ;-).

I think she is beginning to feel at home. I did have a scare tonight but the guardian 911 is now hooked up and on her. She has a new phone system that just taking some adjusting too. If her line is busy try her cell before panicking ;-). I am glad I went over though or I wouldn't have slept at all. And it didn't take that long. I did a couple of things for her and she was on her way to bed when I left.

As for me I am tired and am hoping sleep comes quickly. Cole's birthday was nice and he gave grandma a gift of having her furniture delivered instead of having a homemade ice cream cake... and he let Max have his RAM upgrade early. His upgrade can and will be removed if he doesn't keep his grades up. So I have a lot of ice cream to make soonly because I have all the making for ice cream cake.

I don't think that I mentioned Cole has Lyme's disease. So he cannot beat me anymore ;-). The rule is you are sick if you have a disease other then the one I have. At least I know what we can do to check if the boys are having a recurrence of it later too. Funny that Lyme's would become so prevalent in our lives. Mine taking a life time to find and theirs being caught quickly which is great. Of course Lyme's was a new thing back in the 70's. I am so greatful for having found things that make me feel so much better.

It has taken me 7 months and I am still not up to 100 mgs. As I told Dr. Fishman. I have been this way at least 33 years if not all my life. I don't expect a cure or to eradicate everything in a short period of time. I am glad to get better at all. I am greatful that I have been able to have I have. I do however need to get back on target with my medication. I think the medicine has helped me immensely with my being hungry all the time and I am almost the lowest I have been in 10 years. I need to start with a personal trainer and I promise to start crunches tomorrow. I need to remember my weights too. I need a good trainer. Well I will work on that next week ;-). Maybe I can work out with Mom. I am glad she is here in and I think she is beginning to be glad too.

Take care...be safe...lu2pmbu

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLE--6/9 (posted on 6/8)

LU2PMDNBU ---only cause it is your birthday!! HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY COLE!!! Hard to believe that yesterday he was he baby who had me crying because I couldn't get him to stop crying ;-). And then I learned to make him laugh and from that point on...it was magic ;-). I love you with all my heart and am blessed to have such a wonderful nephew!!!! You make my heart sing when smile at me or wink...or when you have that comic book horrified look on your face when I kiss you or tickle you. You have enriched my life more then you will ever know and I am so greatful your mom and dad let me be such a big part of your family.

I am taking the night off tonight. Getting ready for frenzied ice cream making and cake baking activity tomorrow. I might bake the cake tonight since that will be one thing off my list. It is storming badly so going out to get the cream tonight is not my idea of fun. I rushed home to walk Daisy so she wouldn't have gotten no walk today. She is feeling a bit neglected you know. She hasn't gotten to go to mom's yet and she hates that.

Speaking of mom she walked to her PT today! How fabulous is that and she has appointments Monday, Wednesday and Friday and she will be walking! YAY for Mommy!!! Her place is coming along quite nicely and she is quite the cute mommy ;-). She gets her bed Sunday so at least she will have a nice place to rest!! YAY! She loves her computer!!! YAY!! Of course if she didn't I would have to steal it from her cause it is might fine. And I will be checking all visitors for the 22 inch Flat Screen Monitor as they leave.

I don't know what I am going to do about my house. I am seriously leaning toward selling it. Of course I really don't relish finding another place to live right now. I don't know...so right now I will do my Scarlett O'Hara imitation. I will focus on the tasks at hand. I feel like I am at a real crossroads in my life.

I understand why people drop out. People just deciding to move to a small town and live easily. I am a bit tired of the rat race. I understand completely why my mother ran away from home when she was 60. Yes 60!! You go Mommy! I have to say when I am not ripping her head off because I am angry with myself. I am really enjoying her company. I am just tired, cranky, and I need a time out. A long time out in a warm land with lemon's and lion's around ;-). Happy Akers retirement community here we come!

But until then I will do my best and try to forgive myself and all others for participating in this illusion. I will also pray like hell for all of us!! You included...whoever you are that reads this. One thing I always have no matter what....is my faith. I have gotten to witness miracles I never would have thought I would have needed. Some people get miracles just once or never but I have been blessed with more then one in my life. I hope you and your loves are blessed with miracles when you need them the most.

And now I am going to stop. I am not going to reread this...I am just going to post. So any sentences that don't make sense...well sorry. I will maybe edit it later or maybe not. But right now I need a bit of a nap before I bake.

take care....be safe...

Catch up on where I am in my life--6/3

Well Mom is back on the east coast. It took a lot of work but it is done. And now we are in the process of getting her place together. Between shopping at Robbie's and Sal's homes and her real shopping trips she will be good to go soonly ;-). It has been a hard ride for all of us this past year. But like everything in life we endured and faced the challenge square on and here we are 1 year later. Mom even goes up and down steps (not by herself) and she is looking forward to having her place setup.

As for my house. Well I will type of the results of the engineers report and I will post it. I have a fight on my hands and right now that is a bit difficult for me to face. I am tired of fighting...tired of being the one who does the right thing regardless....tired of owning a money pit. I know I have a lesson to learn besides don't buy a house with a flat roof or on a hillside. I am glad it was a sanctuary when needed and I have had some great times but I am ready for this ride to come to a halt. If that means selling my house or getting a lawyer and fighting. I am not sure what it will be.

But I have shed my last tears over it. I am tried of being sad about it and about everything. I have to admit to feeling enormously stupid for having bought such a money pit...although I am working on reversing that feeling too.

As for my risk I mentioned last time...it didn't turn out how I wanted it to but I took a shot and I will always be glad I did. Because if it had worked out...well at least I won't always be haunted by the fact I didn't take a chance. Unfortunately it still hurts but hey...when did life not hurt a bit. My life is certainly at a crossroads and I have no idea how it will turnout or even what I want it to be. But it is definitely shifting and turning.

Now a bit of bragging about my high school grads. Mason got to have an audience with the Pope which is very cool especially for him. I am very proud of him and I only wish him the best in life. And Wes got all state for Lacrosse which is great. Both boys make there parents proud. As do all my kids. Even when we are trouble we all in the end make our parents proud. It is our nature...all the people I love are good, kind, wonderful people and I am blessed to have them in my life. I am blessed to be well loved by many. I am blessed to love many too ;-).

Well it has been a long year and I am going to bed. Sleep has been elusive as of late and I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning. I also have a dog who is looking at me like she wants to go out for a short walk. She was robbed today by the weather. I hope everyone who reads this is blessed with lots of love, peace, happiness, good health and prosperity.

Hello Spring---4/6/07

Well it has been a while since I have posted. Lots of things going on and lots of things to do. 1st things 1st. I have moved from the 25 to 50 of minocycline. I am responding as I expected. I did break the blockade today and am suffering a bit tonight as a result but I will get it back on track. At least I know how to do get it back on track quickly. I am excited about what this next chapter of my life is going to bring. What new doors are going to open and what challenges await me, you, us. I am very blessed that my Mommy will be moving here soon...YAY!!! There was a time when I might not have been so happy about that but I am now. I love Mom dearly even when she is a PITA ;-). And Look forward to having breakfast with her at Woodside for years to come.

I've learned many things over the years and I am looking forward to learning so many more. Many of us have been going through a transitional time and difficult time lately...but i do think there is a light at the end of the tunnel for us. Not that it will be quick...most of the folks I know are in 3 to 12 months of transition before it is turned around. But it is going to get better. We all need to have faith, keep counting our blessings, and keep praying for ourselves, loved ones, and the world. Yes for a religious phobic person I am very spiritual. I have always had my own relationship with god and I am proud and glad for it. So for all of my loved ones and you know who you are...keep hanging in there. The light at the end of the tunnel is coming and it will be bright and beautiful.

Ok...let's see what has happened of note. Mom will have her house sold soon and be coming back to live here in June. Oh....I am 3 less tress on the hillside!! I am 4 trees from a retaining wall and I am going to fight it out with the board this month. They are coming out to see it the hill next Tuesday so I will be here to see what they have to say ;-). Tour the house and the damage done to it. People should never under estimate me or anyone I love. My mother taught us how to fight for ourselves and others. She is nothing if not strong and she is that and a lot of other wonderful things. Mom is winning on my mushy meter tonight ;-). So watch this space....Retaining wall fight here we come!!! The board isn't going to know what hit them ;-).

I took a risk recently and we shall see if it pays off. That is all I am going to say. So please don't bother asking what it is. If I wanted to tell I would. I would just ask that you think good thoughts for me on "sally's risk". It will be a long time before if we know if it was the right thing to do....but my gut instinct says it was...so I followed it ;-). And if I am wrong...I am still glad I did...so it will always be a good thing. If it was right well then...it will be a fabulous thing.

Well I have lots of work to do on the house this weekend. I have been a smidged overwhelmed as of late and so it is so out of control. So tomorrow is a cleaning/chore day and Sunday is a baking and cooking day and board presentation creating day. I will make some homemade bread and cookies and I think some chicken soup. Of course I have to clean tomorrow for any of that to happen and since if I don't clean I will have to move out then cleaning will be the order of the day ;-).

I always knew growing up that I was different. Not because of my family...which the older the get the more I realize what a good picker I have to have chosen these people to go through this life with. But because I had certain knowledge about how my life would go...how I would be in it...and I have always lived it on my own terms. I did that because I just knew instinctively it was what was to be. Most of what I have known to be has come true. Only sometimes it is not on the time line I thought it would be. But I have always stepped to my own drummer weather it is rock, r&b, jazz, country, classical....whatever it ends up being ;-). So my recommendation is to crank up the music on your life and DANCE!!!

Which leads me to tell you about Linda and my trip to see John Edward the medium. This was really a treat since Linda booked massage's for us in the early afternoon at the Aveda Day Spa. Then we went to her home in Baltimore which is coming along very cutely. And later we went to see John Edward. Linda and I have a theory that her mom and my dad hang out together. We where hoping to have them come to us and while I felt them there I think they all stepped back to let all the parents whom had lost children through. If I didn't believe before I certainly do now. It was a wonderful day and I am so greatful to have had it. I miss hanging out with Linda so when ever I get to do that it is a treat. Much like all my friends that have moved away...whenever I get to hang with them is a treat.

I also learned how to change a tire THANK YOU LINDA!! I had a blow out on the highway and handled it beautifully and was close enough to make it home. Linda taught me how to change my tire after we confirmed the rim wasn't damaged (thank you car gods ;-). So I now have new tires and the car drives great. So what does the brightest bulb in the pack do?...promptly run over the curb....go figure. Oh well it needs an oil change so I will have it fixed then. And yes I do now have triple A.

I am sure that I have loads of other things to say but I am getting tired. I don't want to sleep the day away tomorrow so I will stop. Please treat the people you meet on this journey of life the way you would like to be treated. And follow your gut instinct. I have found the times in my life when I don't follow it....I always have made the wrong decision. And when you are really pissed off or upset...remember to forgive...yourself and everyone else that you come in contact with...cause ultimately. We all are flawed and we are all perfect...and we are all on the journey from flawed to perfection. It's just the number of lifetimes it takes us to get there.

Take care...be safe...lu2pmbu

Surprising info on Wheat and what really is causing the issues

This is my personal experience and if someone forwarded this to you it is because they love you and want you to live a long time. Take what you like and leave the rest. If none of it works for you by the end of this note then thank you for taking the time to read it. I have developed a serious allergy to conventional wheat products. Up until early November 2006 I had noticed that I sometimes would hurt when I ate wheat. It continued to get worse.

But after starting the Marshall Protocol for Chronic Lymes, it gradually got to the point where I could eat wheat at all. The culmination in missing Dinner because I had eaten Christmas cookies on Christmas eve. Eating any wheat would actually cause me to have to take pain medication. So I gave up all wheat products. This was really very sad to me because I love to bake. However, the benefits I have seen from the Marshall Protocol have made it worth my giving up the last of my vices ;-). However, it made me sad because I am a baker. My job is a computer geek but I adore baking. Have since I was a kid making Christmas cookies with my mom. Losing the ability to sample my products made it impossible for me to bake. Which has made me very sad. I love to play with recipes and see what this will do or just make them up as I go along. Most times they are edible and yummy...some times they are just yuck

So in order to preserve my ability to say thank you from a homemade perspective. I started exploring the alternatives to wheat none of them really had the desired texture. There are good substitutes but nothing bakes like wheat. When discussing this with Dr. Fishman, he mentioned to me that prior to 1950 flour was processed with Iodine. After 1950 or some time around then they stopped using iodine and started using bromine which is toxic to the human body. Hummmmm...could we be poisoning ourselves with our food? Now I take 4 tablets for Iodine deficiency.

Well Dr. Fishman mentioned to me that his wife had found a flour that didn't have bromine in it. King Arthur flour. So I bought some white whole wheat flour recently with the intention of seeing if I might be able to find a way to bake again. I know that I have a worse reaction to white flower then whole wheat. I decided to make cookies. Oatmeal was the test cookies of choice. Since it is lent and my nephew (lup2mbu Cole) had given up chocolate and it has less flour so if I did have a reaction it might not be as severe. So with recipe in hand I made them.
I tasted the batter as I do at every stage of the baking process. No hurting. When the cookies came out of the oven I waited the minimum amount of time and broke off a piece of one. I tasted them and they where very yummy. But the true test isn't till I swallow. Nothing. No pain. Needless to say I thought it was best to test another cookie to be sure that I hadn't made a mistake. I hadn't...but to be sure I had to have at least 5...hey you go 3 months without wheat not by choice and see how many you eat ;-). They are darn good if I do say so myself and so does everyone who ate them ;-)

Now I cannot say that everyone who has been diagnosed with gluten intolerance will have the same reaction. I am not a doctor. I am a women who has looked all her life for something to make me feel better. When I was young my mother worked diligently with doctors to figure out what the source of my problems where. I have always presented hypothyroid symptoms with normal test results. My body temperature however runs low at 96.5 with no medication and blood pressure averages 95/60. As an adult I continued to look for something to make me feel better. I have had great doctors whom I adore and cannot THANK enough for their wonderful treatment. However, we have never been able to find the source of my problems. In my search I have become keenly aware of my physical body and can tell the reactions of the introduction of different items to it. That is how I can tell you that this worked for me.

This has been forwarded to you not as an endorsement for a kind of flour, not to say never eat processed food again. I certainly have not been able to accomplish that task.. However, I will do it where I can. I can recommend to folks that most communities have farmers markets during summer for the least processed produce. Trader Joe's has great organic food at great prices!! Cheaper the highly processed crap at regular groceries. I also highly I recommend you pick up a copy of Nourishing Traditions Cook Book or her DVD Health, Beauty & Strength with Nourishing Traditions Diet. Like all things in life take I pass this on and hope you take what works for you and leave the rest.

3/23/2007--A tribute to my beloved Iris Rache

We found out today that a beloved friend of our family passed away. Iris Rache. She was the person most like what I thought an aunt should be....so maybe that is where I modeled my Auntie persona on. There is certainly some of Iris in me. I hope she achieved enlightenment in this lifetime. If not and she has to come back here for another ride and if I don't achieve it too....I hope to god we get to meet again. If not then on the other side in another place. I have never thought of Iris with anything but a smile in my heart and love in my soul.

Iris was a larger than life personality. It might be why I am drawn to those types of folks. She never talked down to a child. She had dogs as I recall they where smaller dogs and she had cats too...I could be wrong on this as many a year has blurred my memories of childhood. Her pets where nice (unlike my grand pa's dogs) and her house was fun to go to because she had neat cool stuff. It was messier then ours and my house is too ;-). Love radiated through her home. It was cozy, cluttered, a bit chaotic but warm and happy. I don't think mom ever said hey lets go to Iris' an I said no.

She had a wraspy New York accent and she had a big laugh. She smoked like a chimney but back in the 60's and 70's who didn't. She was kind, honest and loved to laugh. She was masculine as I called her once when she was at our house for dinner and the stove broke. She fixed it and I mentioned she was masculine. My mother was horrified....I love you mom but you are very prim and proper for such a die hard liberal ;-). Iris just laughed and said "yeah honey, I am".

She was a die hard liberal activist. And while I didn't see her so much once I grew up and I am soooo saddened by that because I loved her dearly, I doubt her activism ever changed ;-). She, Pearl, mommy, Rev. Eaton, and the rest where very much in the "movement" shifting this country for all of us. Ok, maybe white Anglo Saxon protestant males may not agree, but hey they have had their time. A bunch of people worked long and hard to make sure that we all had opportunities. They laughed a lot, worked hard and played hard. And when all is said and done this country is a much better place for the contributions they made. I remember a picnic at Rev. Eaton's with his family and how much fun we had. I remember many an afternoon and evening at Iris and Pearls. Do I remember specifics no but the memories are like the wonderful warm comforters that Iris had all around. They make me smile, they warm my heart and make me greatful for having had the opportunity to have such a great role model.

Well I need to stop before I start sobbing. There has been a lot of loss too close to home this year. Thank you Iris. Thank you for teaching me all that you did and for always having those giant warm bear hugs for me, for your wonderful laugh, and you big heart. I am blessed to have had your touch on my life. I send you blessings and love as you make your transition. I send blessing and love to all whose life you touch and who feel this loss so deeply.

Iris was always there for us. She was there when my father was in the worst alcoholism of his life. I remember her being there for my mom and for us. Her wonderful ability to talk honestly and truthfully to children in a non-baby talk way made her a hit with me. I always appreciated and have always worked hard to treat all kids like just shorter younger adults.

Parents and Children live secret lives from one and another. That is the way it is suppose to be...they have their life together and then when they are alone they have their life apart. Iris was one of those people that could be a part of each's secret life.....and a part of their life as a whole. Which is a wonderful thing and something I hope I emulate with my friends and family. I always knew she was there for me and my family. I knew that I could have called her at anytime and she would have been there to listen or help. I am sorry I didn't call her just to say hi on all the times I thought about it, and her.

Iris in all her glory provided a bright ray of sunshine into my childhood and for that I am ever thankful, greatful and blessed. She taught me volumes and the imprint she left on me huge. Ask anyone who knows much about my childhood or early years...and they will have heard me say I considered Iris my Aunt. So for all my kids who read this...you may say a private thanks to Iris for having provided me a role model for that relationship. For anyone reading this...may you be blessed with an Iris of your own in your life.

The Washington Post was wrong...there maybe no immediate family by conventional standards that she left behind. But she left behind an extended family that I imagine is more vibrant then most real families (except mine). I certainly consider myself a member of that family...even if I was more like the prodigal daughter that never returned. But I know she always loved me anyway ;-)...just as I did her.

LU2PM Iris

3/18--Long Sad Week

HAPPY 18th B'DAY WES!!!


It's been a very long week. I have cried more tears then I care to remember I ever had. I have had some good laughs too. It has been emotionally draining, physically draining and even a bit spiritually draining. Even Pollyanna cracks occasionally and she is almost humpty dumpty this week ;-). I apologize for the sad tone of this entry but it is the way of this week. I wish tonight I could escape to Happy Akers Retirement Community and Yurt Village! I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends and kids...my kids I consider my friends but in case they read this and think that I only think of their parents as my friends. They would be wrong. I am also blessed to have my family as my friends too. So the bleak tone of my blog is just because there is a sadness that needs to be. It is the part of life we hate, the part of life we spend all our lives avoiding, and the part that hurts us left behind much more then those that have moved on. So if you don't want to be sad please move along today. Check back again soon but if you can bear to hear about my sadness then please keep reading.

I went by and saw Colleen on Monday. She is this huge presence that reminds me of a cross between Joni Voss and Jean Akers. And she was so fragile and frail. It broke my heart to know how much she is hurting and how some things only time softens. And the boys....well I am one of them. I know some of what they will go through, only I think it is worse for them.

With us it was almost a relief that Daddy had died. It was an end to the chaos and madness (for those who are unfamiliar with my life story...my father was a raging alcoholic who died at the age of 44. I was 10). But this isn't the situation. This was a loving family with all sorts of potential to fulfill. They still have all that potential but now there will be a sadness that I hope and pray that no other children have to experience the loss of a parent until they are in their 20's. Of course there is nothing worse then the loss of a child which THANK GOD is not something we have experienced. And I pray no one every does.

I have a tendency to take on whoever's pain is around me. I am very empathetic that sometimes makes it very hard for me when lots of my family and friends are having issues. Know I am not saying every one's lives are falling apart but it seems like everyone i love is going through a stressful time. And everyone's is worse them mine so I cannot complain. But sometimes it is hard being the one everyone needs to be the rock. Sometimes I need people to do things for me. And sometimes I do get it. Like Maxie helping me take down the fence. And being able to go to Robbie and Dericks and see the boys and have a nice dinner is such a blessing.

One thing I have learned is that I am sorry I didn't help Mom more growing up. And all the problmes wouldn't be so daunting and hard....if work was not just kicking my butt so badly. I wonder sometimes if working so hard for so long is worth it. If it might have been better to have been in a more laid back position...to have more leisure time or more time to do the things that don't get done...but that is not the life i choose. The one I choose has to many hours and not enough of them are dedicated to life.

I am going to go to sleep now. After all tomorrow is another day. I love you all 2 pieces mieces beat you all!!!

Take Care....Be Safe...LU2PMBU

3/11/2007--Happy and Sad day

Well first I survived DST!!! I am very proud of all the people I work with for pulling it off. My self included. I am very tired today...physically, emotionally, and a bit spiritually. i had a nice after noon with maxies taxie. Please note that a cat bottom was removed to continue typing and may have to do that a couple of times ;-)...ana banna thinks her rightful place is on me where ever i don't want her to be...but I have shoooed her away tonight.

First I had my doctor's appointment. He is pleased with my progress. He has ordered a GI test which I am glad about. Years ago I was diagnosed with the helobacter that causes ulcers. I have always had problems with my tummy. I remember back in the day of barium x-rays drinking barium....YUCK! Now it is a stool sample kit. But I have to be off the antibiotics and possibly the benicar too...My vitamin D number is down substantially but the low one is still the same. This is the first one not smoking and I did with no supplements. Ok enough about that...I will be doing more on that for next week.

Now the good. Jimmy had his plays this weekend. I haven't talked to him but I am sure it went well. He is such a wonderful kid and I am so proud of him. He is smart, kind, nurturing, and loving...he is a snuggy muff...all the boys are snuggy muffs...I am really proud of him and his swimming. I cannot help but be proud of him being in the play. Of course having been in the theater crew as well...it makes me feel a bit closer to him. I am so sorry I was not there to see his play and to give him break a leg flowers!! Of course I never had the courage to be on stage. But I was a great Assistant Director ;=).

Hum interesting jump to what I do know. Anyway I am so blessed to have such wonderful young men whom I get to love and whom love me!! I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love my boys. They are my heart and I will always be here for all my boys. I am so proud of them.. I wish I could have Jimmy out here for some time this summer. I will have to talk to Steve about that I will even buy his ticket. Hopefully I will have a room for him to sleep in by then.

Maxie ripped down my fence today!!! THANKS MAXIE!!! In order to take the tree that is leaning toward my house and unstable I had to remove the fence. Well I didn't ....I helped...but Maxie did most of it. He knew just what to do and even to tarp it so Billy Holiday (the Cat)...although he gets lots of points for knowing that she was a singer. He told me what to get and he set about taking it apart. He is a smart young man. He has some cool music and I am blessed to have him as my nephew.

As I am with all my nephew and kids. I am glad that they all still love me and that they trust me. The only thing I want in the world is for my kids and family (that includes all you friends too) is them to be happy and healthy... I want them all to realize the fabulous people that they are....that they can be true to themselves . That they learn to forgive...themselves and everyone else they meet. That they trust their gut instinct and that they keep themselves safe.

Now for the sad. Some very good family friends of ours had a tragic death. Their father and husband died today. He was 54 years old. He and his wife loved each other very much. It was very evident Thier love. They have 2 sons 9 and 13. He has 2 sons from a previous marriage in their 20's. They are like the Akers to the Fraleys for my sister and her family. It is a huge tragedy and reminds me to tell everyone we love how much we do. So please say your prayers for them. Their name is the Brands. All prayers are appreciated.

Well I am exhausted and need to get some sleep. It's been a Long week and believe it or not I have not napped at all today...which is why I am still up and am over tired so I am going to sleep.

Thanks to all the people who love and support me. Thanks to all the kids that have allowed me to be a part of their life from childhood to adulthood. It is not an honor I take lightly and one that warms my heart. Because when people ask me if I am sad I didn't have children. I say no....because while I might not have had my own....I have a number of them that I have been honored to love and have in my life. They invite me to come and have a drink with them on their 21st birthdays. And I remember when some of them thought I was the plague during those "teen years". So to my kids....all of you...thank you for letting me be a part of your life. I am always here if you need me...and even if you are don't.

Take care...be safe...I am not proofing so be nice when reading ;-)

3/3/2007--General Ramblings of a Computer Geek in DST Hell

Hi folks...it has been a while since I posted. That is because it has been very busy at work, home, busy with my family. I would like to tell all those who thought Y2K was a "fake, non-event, over hyped" that a lot of people worked there asses off to make sure that is was it was...a non-event. The change from DST is like a mini-y2k. It doesn't have the catastrophic failure implications that y2k did...just a pain in the ass factor. So...venting about work complete.

Except to say that I am blessed with wonderful people to work with whom make my life as easy as they can. THANK YOU VISTA TEAM!!!! We have had people whom joined the team and thought they would not stay long and have stayed for years...and we have people who left the team and have come back...YAY Vern and Suresh!!! For those who don't know Suresh is to job what Vern is to my job. And I hope that when the time comes and Vern retires that Suresh is promoted to that position. My smiley eyed friend whom always is kind and quiet. We have a team that people want to work on and that is a rare thing in many places.

So I go to the doctor's and get the results of my blood draw on 3/8. I will be anxious to see how it goes. I think it is almost time to move to 50 mg's. I think that is where I will find the really drastic improvement. I pulled back a little the last few weeks due to the whole destruction of my home ;-). In fact Maxie and I are going to do demolition on the ceilings with me next weekend. That will be fun for both of us ;-)...he even told me I didn't have to pay him for it!! I have to go to Loews and get protective gear for us since it have fiber glass insulation. I also need to order the LO/MIT II.

I have decided with the Ice Damns help that I should take down the ceilings entirely and then spray with LO/MIT II for insulation and mold factor. It prohibits mold and it adds an R15 value plus an R19 fiber glass insulation and it will be an 34 r factor in the ceiling. I am also hoping in the next 5 years to install solar panels on once all the trees are down. When I am on the board. Will find that out this month.

Mom is doing well she is kicking ass and taking names ;-). She is working hard on getting her house sold. I have no doubt it will be sooner rather then later. Maybe when I come out for graduation I can take her back with me. I know how hard it is to change....to leave what you know and do something new and different. But one thing about mom...once she makes a decision she is a dynamo on planning and implementation. And she is jamming along on getting all that done. In spite of weather that has not been cooperative.

Well I think that is all the news that is fit to print.

Take Care...Be Safe...LU2PMBU

2/19--Happy Birthday Sunny and Kathy Keltner whereever you are

Well...Sunny Bunny is 2. I cannot get out to see her but her software is in...but I did have the brilliant idea to pour buckets of how water on the ice tomorrow to get it out. Back to Sunny...she is a beautiful, and she is talking...she is a grand griley whirley and i love her dearly. I hope cannot wait to see her ad play with her on the computer...i do love her. In case we have any doubt....I love children. Having none of my own if you are my friend and you have a child...well I am an aunt. The kind that takes you to the movies, laser tag.... I look forward to having a similar relationship with Sunny that I do with my other kids.

I had a heck of a day...I pulled down lots more ceiling because of the ice damning thing. This was in the office. I am working hard to forgive myself for participating in this illusion....but today it all feels very real. But hey at least half way through when I drenched from the water pouring down my fiber glass insulation. I did have the good sense god gave me to go get gloves from my hair color. Least kept some of the fiber glass off my hands. Water was pouring out of the fiber glass insulation....just pouring.....pour and the more i pulled down...the more it poured. Tomorrow morning I will go pull more insulation down before it starts melting so I can get something underneath it all so it doesn't leak down the rest of the house.

I did have a good melt down and cried really hard sobbed really. I did consciously remember to forgive...i am not sure how much better it made it.. The thing that made it the best was pulling down the dry wall chasing the leak till I could see it. At least it stopped leaking to the main level. Well I am getting tired and my butt is sore from sitting writing this as I am watching tv and being distracted ;-).

take care....be safe...lu2pmbu


And Kathy Keltner...Happy 40th or 41st.

2/15--Happy Valentines, Homes, and life

1st of all Happy Valentines day to you all. I am blessed to have a lot of people that do things for me on Valentines. Mommy, Robbie, sometimes various friends...if I am lucky the animals all cooperate for the day ;-). So Thanks to all my loved ones that make me feel special not only on Valentines but everyday of the year.

On to homes....I have a 40 year old home that I truly dearly love. I have been making progress on getting done many things that where not evident when I purchased the home. Well I did win the taking of 2 of the trees down. I will take the other one down. However, I believe that I have a branch that fell on the roof my home and has caused my roof to leak and possibly collapse over the coarse of this night. I have done the best I can to minimize the damage.

The kids will sleep with me down here (listen to me calling my pets kids)...where it is leaking too but the bucket is smaller and needs to be changed more frequently. The real deal is no matter what happens...Whining is just not an option. I have my mother and my nephew that are alive and well. So a hole in my roof or whatever...it is just stuff. The people I love and animals...are all okay...so I will be very greatful for what I have been given.

However, I might just vent for a minute ;-). No. I will practice what I preach and be happy that I have power. That I have all that I have. Hopefully sleep will come shortly ;-)....but if it doesn't I will put on my ipod using my itrip so i don't use my headset and listen to an evening meditation...till then i will check on my leaks and write in my blog ;-).

take care...be safe....lu2pmbu

2/6--Learning is good

As part of the attacking of the Lymes I am finding that attacking it on a spiritual and physical level is helpful. Or maybe it is the culmination of a lifetime search for the thing that will make me feel better. Over the years I have found somethings worked better then others. I have never been able to put it all together. Now it is all coming together. Like a puzzle that actually has had a lost piece...one that everyone loved and always pulled out to play with...got to the end and found it's piece was still missing. Then one day when the children are playing they find it while getting a ball that rolled under the couch. That night the family put the puzzle together with a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction they hadn't experienced before. That is how I feel. At 43 years old I finally understand my body.

I have always had a good understanding of myself. I mean I have always known I was different. Yes special. I am an old soul and a sensitive soul. Maxie is an old soul...Colie is an sensitive soul..Jimmy is a bit of both. I don't know about Wes and Sean since I don't know them as well. I am sure that I have traveled many lifetimes with these people I choose for my family and friends. And my pets...I am not a pet person ;-). Ok so in the secrets ....the universe has no word for not. So all my life I have said I am not a pet person. I have also had this uncanny knack with dogs and cats...even when I have been afraid of the dogs they always loved me. Kids too...and for the kids who know me now...they know I don't like kids ;-). God I'm Blessed...so blessed to have these kids, my friends, and my family. I choose well in this life. I think I might actually achieve enlightenment this time. But I have a while to go before I reach there.

Now looking back on my life I am so glad I stuck to being true to who I was. Even when it pissed off my mother, brother, sister, and friends ;-). I like the person I am and I like that I can travel the spiritual path of A Course in Miracles and be happy about being eclectic. I am glad I am different...that my experience has been different. It has given me a broad prospective that helps me embrace all kinds of people as my family and friends. I am just blessed.

I am feeling like crap and the cold is just kicking my butt....but I am seeing the benefits so that is a good thing. Blood draw tomorrow and I meet with Dr. Fishman March 5th. Well time to take Daisy out and me to close my eyes.

Take care...be safe...lu2pmbu

2/4--Life is good

I've slept all weekend thanks to my herx (i call it hexing ;-) hexing reaction...been just whipped. My stomach too was torn up...love those dying lymes ;-). I felt like crap but I have noticed some good things too. My hair is falling out less. My heart not fluttering. My night chills are not as bad. All very positive!! My energy is still low but that is okay. I am seeing results in other areas so that is a good thing. Besides I have a wonderful life, wonderful family and wonderful pets ;-).

I did go to whole foods today and bought some gluten free bread (till I bake some myself) and had toast tonight for dinner. I hope my tummy is more settled tomorrow so I can have some wonderful Chili Robbie and Derick made. It reminded me of the Christmas Eve Chili Cook-Off which I will get to not judge this year ;-). Anyway they also had GF muffins...and I bought and ate one of those too ;-). I have some recipes to try as well. The GF brownies are fab and I used Chai for the water, and added some toasted coconut and used coconut oil for the fat. So they are as healthy as something like that can be for you ;-).

Well I am falling asleep so that is all for now.

take care...be safe...lu2pmbu.

2/1--CONGRATULATIONS

I am so proud of my kids. All of them. I love you all to pieces mieces beat you all. Somebody is going to have to add me to their myspace page so I can add comments. My email address is lu2pmbu@yahoo.com. My myspace page is take a guess...LU2PMBU. See that way I always win ;-)...beat you all ;-) . Miss Mackenzie got her first CMA job and moved into her first place with her friends! Mackenzie you haven't taken the traditional road and well I relate well to that but you have hard on herself, hard at school and have become a wonderful young women.

Who would have thought that you would like to draw blood. You have always had a kind heart of course there might be a sibling or two that questioned that periodically. But you have prevailed and I think the hardest time of your life is behind you. Life does get easier as you get older and I think you realize that. You are a smart young women whom I am very proud of and you remind me a great deal of myself. You keep working on yourself and having fun in the process.

Now if I am blowing any ones news then I apologize but Congratulations Michael and Sandra. I am very happy for you. I look forward to meeting Sandra the next time I am out in CA. I am glad you all have found each other and that you are happy. Michael is a wonderful man and I am sure Sandra must be wonderful too. You turned out to be much like your father and I don't think there is a higher compliment than that one. It is amazing to think about when you all moved to Columbia and how you where just integrating your families. And now well you have integrated well...integrated a few of us you didn't expect along the way! I am so proud of all my family and friends. You are an amazing group of people I choose to hang out with in this lifetime ;-). I love you all.

For those that have made comments about please update more regularly. I am trying but sometimes...between work....the lymes....the house. Which has no more cat piss carpet in it!!! YAY!!! Sub flooring sometime suppose by the end of the week ;-). I went back to the doctor yesterday did some more adjusting. I have learned alot in the last month about making sure the benicar blockade doesn't get broken otherwise my symptoms get worse. I am definitely feeling better but I stopped the minocycline for 4 days and notice that the symptoms started to get worse on a daily basis. I am thinking by the end of Feb I will have a good understanding of how this works ;-).

take care...be safe.....lu2pmbu

1/25--Wheatless foods

Well it does appear that there are many products out there that one can eat that do not contain wheat flour. I have found that my tolerance for the foods I can give up, is in direct proportion to how much it hurts me with no positive gain ;-). Wheat makes my stomach hurt. Enough that I had 3 dozen of my favorite bagels and I didn't eat 1. Not a one. Wasn't even tempted. I am saving my hurting for things that bring me joy like Red Velvet Cake and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts from the place right next to the doctor's office.

I have discovered that Red Mill makes very good alternatives. They have a fabulous brownie mix. They have a flour that I have used to make cornbread (cornbread without flour....uggg). I also used it to make the slow cooker pork roast ;-). So the experimenting has begun. We shall see where life brings us. btw ;-) I did throw out a batch of cornbread cause it was bad ;-).

I also cannot reiterate that you should go home and hug everyone you love....and tell them you love them...that big cars are better then little ones in an accident...so live green where you can but my vote for cars is sedan hybrids or hybrid SUV's but not for tiny cars. My JimJim is alive and I cannot be happier because Gram and Pop blessed him with a car that could take a beating and keep him alive. The car had 10,000 worth of damage and it was not a new car. So THANK YOU for watching over him. Well I am off to try and get a bit more sleep

Take care...be safe...LU2PMBu

1/22--Thank You For My Blessings

Today was a good day...actually a great day. I felt like crap...really like crap...but that is ok. Today my JimJim is alive and well and that is the only thing that matters at all. He started to fishtail and when he realized what his options where he opted for the snow bank. Which really was an ice bank that his car walked up and rolled over. He rolled his car on an ice bank. He remarked to Stever that he didn't realize how much crap he had in the car till he saw it all sitting there on the roof ;-). He was wearing his seat blet and he is OK!!!

He is my 1st born nephew and I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. Robbie and I went to the hospital together. She picked me up in my apartment in Claradon and we went out to Fairfax Hospital. We got there and I remember seeing them wheel Christina and Jimmy out to clean him up. He was soooo cute...the cutest of them all. I wanted to hold him and never let him go!! I still do!!! I THANK GOD that he was willing to bestow another miracle on my family today. For those who don't believe in miracles, I feel sorry for you. The happen every day if you choose to see them. I am going to stop now. I still feel physically like crap, a bit emotional, but very happily blessed and I think rest will serve me best.

Take Care...Be Safe....THANK YOU FOR ALL MY BLESSINGS EACH AND EVERY DAY!!!

1/17--Everyday is a new Experience

I am blessed...I have found a handyman. He's not Berl or Derick but he is honest and I believe we have the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I have a 40 year old home so there is a lot of work for my new best friend Rick. If you need a handyman drop me a note and I will supply it. Also if you need a pet sitter.

Well every day I feel different. I have been running the gamut of symptoms...allot of just wanting to sleep...which while being a wonderful thing...can also be somewhat detrimental since I get nothing accomplished toward my home life. The pain and such is better. I do think I am noticing less hair loss. I need to track that. My stomach really does hurt the day after the antibiotic. UGGGG... One thing I have figured out that the keeping the Benicar Blockade is important. I am going to ask for dosing every six hours...then i am sure to make the time between. .

I am feeling positive. I have to admit to having a cat perfectly placed on my feet in the 2 feet warming position...ummmm nice...shhhh. I am not a trained human...and if I say it enough someone someday might believe me ;-). I did get 1/4 of the cat piss carpet ripped out. This is the worst of it and it is amazing!! Today the rest of the sub flooring gets put down. The air quality between ripping out the carpet and the new heating and cooling system well if it weren't for food i wouldn't need to take a decongestant today...I don't need one in my own home now!!! YAY!!!

Thank You Linda for coming over and helping me get the stuff out for it to be done. And Thank You to Joni for her help this summer in getting ready for my new heating and cooling system. I know I owe you a trip and an apology for bagging Vegas. It's just been that kind of year where nothing worked out as planned.

Well I am hoping that this week I will see the response I did towards the end of the 2nd week of the protocol. I am hoping I will start feeling good on my good days. Giving up all your vices to not feel better really sucks ;-). I am blessed and of that there is no doubt. Well my benicar kicked in and I am freezing now and need to go lie down...besides it is 3:00 am. I do love my sleeping disorder...Another night I feel asleep by 9:30 ... it's all good and I am not complaining....whinnng...not complaining ;-).

take care....be safe....lupmbu